Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Revised poem

The writer's workshop is a very helpful, supportive environment. We meet every Monday from 3-5 p.m. in Reavis 211. Participants share writing samples with the group and receive written and verbal feedback. Simple formula.

I changed my poem based on suggestions and my own misgivings about the original. No title yet, though Katherine suggested "Saudade" because I talked about the meaning of the word. I also added a footnote defining "katabatic" (I know. How pretentious. A poem with footnotes.) because no one in the group knew its definition and deleted "micromclimate" and "germ" because more than one person thought the terms too scientific for the mood of the poem. "Katabatic" faced similar criticism, but I like the damn word so it's staying.

This forgotten stone
thrums in its cave
seeks sun
with creeping tendril veins

Strange things gestate
in isolation

Dank, fungal shelves
still air, moist, green
mildew blooming in neglect

Flowers thrive
in *katabatic clime
yellow, with pale green vines
bent to afternoon
fingers of light

In this ravine
a muffled beat,
a shade, a shadow,
a wisp of smoke
like memory
settles in the cool.

* katabatic --
of an air current or wind; moving downward or down a slope because of cooling especially at night [ant: anabatic]

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