Thursday, October 30, 2003

I went to Wings alone for the first time ever. Esther decided to stay home for once. Nothing exciting happened in her absence. I ate my wings, marveled that there was no baseball to watch, played my pool, met Rob and his Russian girlfriend Lena. They both smoked 120 length cigarettes, which reminds me of Billy K.'s mom from drum corps day. Speaking of Billy, I found out about an old high school friend, Larry E., who I haven't seen in 10 years. He used to live next door to Billy. Nancy at Wings said Larry is in the National Guard, but other than that doesn't work and still lives in his parent's basement, just like he did eons, nay, lifetimes, okay, 15 years ago, when I was good friends with him. What a trip! I always thought he was a spoiled brat loser. Talk about arrested development.

God, did the depression ever hit me hard this morning. I just felt a blackness come over me. I swear the only thing that keeps me from freaking out sometimes is the gift of blessed detachment, a little place deep inside me where those awful feelings or any other feelings can't touch, a place of calculation and reason, from which, perched and peaceful, I determined that the rest of my miserable self just needed some sunshine and exercise. So I took a bike ride to the library. That did the trick, lifted me from my sunlight-deprived malaise.

I wasn't called in to work today, the first missed day in over two weeks, because I didn't call last night. That's how the system works. You gotta call the sub caller.

I applied online for employment at UPS. Gotta work two jobs now so I don't have to work any for five months or more next year.

I was going to mow widow Mary's lawn, along with some other lawn stuff, this afternoon, but realized Esther left my gas can at her parent's. So... I either have to go pick it up or go to my parent's and borrow theirs. Now it's getting all cloudy and dark and threatening skies. There's always tomorrow...

This weekend is the last workday of the year for the Rock County chapter of the Ice Age Trail. We are establishing tread on a 700-feet segment of trail near Vincent and Manogue Roads in Milton, WI, which, when completed, will finish the year-long project of blazing the trail through the city.

I called a lady with the Milton newspaper about covering the work day. She was really mean and bitchy to me and accused me of being condescending to her. She said she probably couldn't come out to the event on such short notice. The only thing I said is "I understand, considering the limited resources of a weekly." Now, tell me, is that condescending? I attributed her testy behavior to the weather and daylight savings time, the same elemental forces mucking up my brain chemistry. Screw her if she can't come out. I'll take better pictures and write better copy for free.

Below are some lyrics from one of my favorite discs of all time, which I listened to while writing this entry, Brazil Classics, Vol. 1: Beleza Tropical compiled by David Byrne. I got this at the library about a year ago and have checked it out many times since. Please check out the link for more lyrics or, better yet, download some of the tunes or buy the album. This album opened me up to Brazilian pop music, which I've thoroughly enjoyed since, even though I barely passed the Portoguese courses I took in college.

Excerpted from "Calice" by Chico Buarque (part vocal Milton Nascimento)

Form getting fat the pig no longer walks
From so much use the knife no longer cuts
How hard it is, father, to open the door
This word sticks in the throat
This homeric drunk across the earth
What use is it to have good will
Even if the chest is silent, the brains remain
In the drunks in the center of the city

Maybe the world isn’t small
And life isn’t a consummated fact
I want to invent my own sin
I want to die from my own poison
I want to once and for all lose your head
And my head lose your common sense
I want to sniff the fumes of diesel oil
Get drunk until someone forgets me

Can modern American pop music even hold a candle, lyrically, to this?!!!

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